After the Aliens Landed

After the aliens landed, last week,
They patted General Rowell
On the head.

They explained,
'They' being seven and one half foot
Tall, old men,
They explained that most races
Go through a phase
During which
People cannot see
That they are really animals.

General Rowell and the President's assistant
Welcomed the aliens
To the Earth
On behalf
Of all races
Of men.

Several aliens whispered together
And one asked
Who was to welcome them
On behalf
Of dolphins
And snakes
And squirrels.

Several vegetarians
Hastily summoned
From the local
University
Asked the aliens' help
To stop all people
From eating meat.

The smallest alien
Patted the
Vegetarian girl
On the head,
Explaining
That it was the property of animals
Throughout the universe
To eat other animals.
The other aliens
Appeared barely able
To suppress
Convulsive
Laughter.

The President's Episcopal minister
Declared that the golden rule
Must now be considered
As applying to
All God's creatures.

One of the aliens said
That loving other beings
As oneself
Was a very primitive moral concept
And physically difficult
Besides.

Of the seven men
Who were to greet
The aliens,
All but General Rowell
Turned away,
Disgusted.

The other alien,
The one who had not
Spoken before,
Pointed straight up.
"Rowell," he said,
"Most of the races
In the universe
Do not use weapons.
So we have none
To give you."

The general turned away,
Disappointed,
Leaving the aliens
Standing
Alone.

The President's assistant
Suggested to the President
That from now on
It would probably be best
To beware of aliens
Bearing
Wisdom.

Jeff Bangert
2/17/75